Arielene Wee
I shall never grow up, make believe is much too fun.
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Thursday, October 15, 2009
And just like that, 10 years of IJ ended ): No more school song & morning prayer/hymn & masses ever. No more familiar faces. No more friendly & warm people/teachers. No more familiar environment. No more doing things as you wish, doing silly things without really embarassing yourself. No more doing stupid things then have your friends let you know you're being stupid but still making you feel good/happy. No more turning to people who you can tell almost everything to and who will then make you feel better. No more Mr Teh & Mr Chan forever ):
In jc, there'll be boys! Stupid disgusting smelly boys. Who you can't complain/whine about girl stuff to. Like periods & cramps & bad hair days & wedgies. And then there are males teachers too, which is hard to get used to when 90% of the teachers in ij are females. In jc, it won't be ij! Where you feel right at home after being there for 10 years. Where you've seen just about almost everyone around school before. Where you know at least one-third of people's names even if you've never spoken a word to them before. Where everyone's nice & warm & friendly & helpful. Where there are religious stuff to keep me in check, so that I don't turn all unholy. Okay the list goes on so I should just shut up now.
But omg yknow today! Court Mao QY and I were leaving IJ when it started to pour!!! Suddenly, and heavily. How apt huh? Reflection of our moods + a sign that was shouting at us not to leave the gates of IJ (because it was damn heavy and we only had 2 umbrellas; yes I know I'm being stupid & dramatic). It's a depressing day, leaving IJ. Now I'm officially an IJ alumni member, no more IJ student OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I want to cry x100000000000000000000. All I can say is, at least I still have to wear my IJ uniform, at least I'll still get to go to IJ, at least I'll still see my friends. Because of the darned O's hoho.
And shit, I feel damn old leaving IJ.
Something tells us deep inside, IJ friends are friends for life.
In jc, there'll be boys! Stupid disgusting smelly boys. Who you can't complain/whine about girl stuff to. Like periods & cramps & bad hair days & wedgies. And then there are males teachers too, which is hard to get used to when 90% of the teachers in ij are females. In jc, it won't be ij! Where you feel right at home after being there for 10 years. Where you've seen just about almost everyone around school before. Where you know at least one-third of people's names even if you've never spoken a word to them before. Where everyone's nice & warm & friendly & helpful. Where there are religious stuff to keep me in check, so that I don't turn all unholy. Okay the list goes on so I should just shut up now.
But omg yknow today! Court Mao QY and I were leaving IJ when it started to pour!!! Suddenly, and heavily. How apt huh? Reflection of our moods + a sign that was shouting at us not to leave the gates of IJ (because it was damn heavy and we only had 2 umbrellas; yes I know I'm being stupid & dramatic). It's a depressing day, leaving IJ. Now I'm officially an IJ alumni member, no more IJ student OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I want to cry x100000000000000000000. All I can say is, at least I still have to wear my IJ uniform, at least I'll still get to go to IJ, at least I'll still see my friends. Because of the darned O's hoho.
And shit, I feel damn old leaving IJ.
Something tells us deep inside, IJ friends are friends for life.
2:36 PM;
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I <3 (500) DAYS OF SUMMER! Good music + cute story + quirky little things (Y) I am very very happy hee hee.
And now, my dream boy has two dimples and a smallboy-smile like Joseph Gordon-Levitt's. Hee hee hee hee so cute! Don't laugh at me please :/ It's really damn cute omg.
I'm thinking that I kinda got burned out from prelims. Shit I'm damn scared :/ My sleeping habits are a freaking mess. And I'm so tired, I've been sleeping almost every afternoon. But even then, I only sleep for short stretches both in the afternoon and at night. Omg damn bad man, I haven't hit the books :/
And today, we finally the cj talk. I am damn scared now! PE omg. I could just die in the first lesson. I don't know where to go anymore, how now brown cow.
And now, my dream boy has two dimples and a smallboy-smile like Joseph Gordon-Levitt's. Hee hee hee hee so cute! Don't laugh at me please :/ It's really damn cute omg.
I'm thinking that I kinda got burned out from prelims. Shit I'm damn scared :/ My sleeping habits are a freaking mess. And I'm so tired, I've been sleeping almost every afternoon. But even then, I only sleep for short stretches both in the afternoon and at night. Omg damn bad man, I haven't hit the books :/
And today, we finally the cj talk. I am damn scared now! PE omg. I could just die in the first lesson. I don't know where to go anymore, how now brown cow.
7:06 PM;
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I am an idiot. Really ): The biggest ever, sigh.
Back to school tomorrow, where we'll be getting our papers back. Omg I don't want ): I freaking messed up everything lah, how now brown cow? I did the most hardcore mugging that I'd ever done during those few weeks, but I think it'll be the worst results ever. Stupidest 4 weeks of whatjamightcallit :/
Back to school tomorrow, where we'll be getting our papers back. Omg I don't want ): I freaking messed up everything lah, how now brown cow? I did the most hardcore mugging that I'd ever done during those few weeks, but I think it'll be the worst results ever. Stupidest 4 weeks of whatjamightcallit :/
10:14 PM;
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I AM FREAKING ANNOYED WITH MY IPOD. I spent 2 and a half hours trying to fit the best songs into that little 4 gig space. But it was so hard I gave up. Bah humbug.
It's officially a month to o's zomg. I want to die ): I'm so freaking unprepared. And school only ends on the 15th of october which is like what the shit, seriously. I am also super not excited for the graduation ceremony.
Yesterday I malu-ed myself in the bus when it stopped at the sji bus stop. I saw my kindergarten friend and shouted his name. I thought I could get away with humiliation cos I was standing at the doors of the bus, close enough to my friend. But no, everyone stared. Court laughed her ass off, but I think my kindergarten friend was used to having me shout his name whenever I see him. So it's not too bad, I only embarrassed myself in front of complete strangers.
Sigh I'm hoping some thing will work out eventually. One day. Maybe a few years down the road. But maybe that's really wishful thinking. Oh well, VISUALISE ACTUALISE PRAY - one of the few things we got out of retreat yesterday heh.
It's officially a month to o's zomg. I want to die ): I'm so freaking unprepared. And school only ends on the 15th of october which is like what the shit, seriously. I am also super not excited for the graduation ceremony.
Yesterday I malu-ed myself in the bus when it stopped at the sji bus stop. I saw my kindergarten friend and shouted his name. I thought I could get away with humiliation cos I was standing at the doors of the bus, close enough to my friend. But no, everyone stared. Court laughed her ass off, but I think my kindergarten friend was used to having me shout his name whenever I see him. So it's not too bad, I only embarrassed myself in front of complete strangers.
Sigh I'm hoping some thing will work out eventually. One day. Maybe a few years down the road. But maybe that's really wishful thinking. Oh well, VISUALISE ACTUALISE PRAY - one of the few things we got out of retreat yesterday heh.
11:13 PM;
LETTING GO. For now, at least. Cos it's really not the time to let anything bog me down. I haven't felt so peaceful for a while now. Not completely, but getting there. Loved yesterday's retreat; what if it's the last one ever ):
4:47 PM;
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I can't believe I went through so much shit throughout these past 4 weeks for nothing. Seriously. Which is only gonna make me want to fight more. Even if it takes me a damn long time. That's bad though, I should let go. But I can't. I can have all the support, care, love, comfort, assurances that I want from my friends but what I really need, to fully let go, are answers.
I think tomorrow's retreat comes in extremely good time. I'm looking for some inner peace. Hopefully it IS a retreat like everyone says it would be, except no one knows for sure cos the teachers didn't say anything. I love retreats and I love to cry (: okay I know that totally makes me sound crazy, don't judge.
I think tomorrow's retreat comes in extremely good time. I'm looking for some inner peace. Hopefully it IS a retreat like everyone says it would be, except no one knows for sure cos the teachers didn't say anything. I love retreats and I love to cry (: okay I know that totally makes me sound crazy, don't judge.
9:12 PM;
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Everything's finally over today. Prelims, that thing (which turns out I went through so much shit for for nothing). I am so fucking exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I wish I could rewind, pause & fast-forward time. To go back to things or change things, to make happy/peaceful moments last, to skip bad things. But that's stupid. Life sucks, deal with it.
Good day today, really. Okay, Amaths sucked and I'm screwed for that but whatever. Town with Mao + Court + QY + Mars + Jessica was good therapy, especially after being sad for so long; I finally got out of the house and stopped wallowing & moping about. Ion is pretty darn amazing eyecandy-wise. Seriously. Mao Mars & I stalked this hot angmoh around for a while. He had a mop of curly hair!!! Totally my type hoho. Ion would be pretty darn amazing too if I had more cash. I was dying to buy grey sneakers & a Beatles' tee from Topshop sigh. And then our plan to sneak Mao into The Ugly Truth failed. We tried 2 different counters okay! But then Cine is so stupidly strict. And then more hmv (twice in a week!), which meant 2 more cds. This is bad, I realised that I spend money on cds only, and that's quite a lot of money.
I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Made plans to watch The Ugly Truth with Ahmandah See & SHER-min, but Court also invited me over to her place. Now I think I just wanna chill at home, rest my heavy heart & head. Watch GG, maybe a random movie online, read good quotes (i love reading good quotes online!), get a tumblr to put up those quotes. Mmm I think I'll do just that.
Good day today, really. Okay, Amaths sucked and I'm screwed for that but whatever. Town with Mao + Court + QY + Mars + Jessica was good therapy, especially after being sad for so long; I finally got out of the house and stopped wallowing & moping about. Ion is pretty darn amazing eyecandy-wise. Seriously. Mao Mars & I stalked this hot angmoh around for a while. He had a mop of curly hair!!! Totally my type hoho. Ion would be pretty darn amazing too if I had more cash. I was dying to buy grey sneakers & a Beatles' tee from Topshop sigh. And then our plan to sneak Mao into The Ugly Truth failed. We tried 2 different counters okay! But then Cine is so stupidly strict. And then more hmv (twice in a week!), which meant 2 more cds. This is bad, I realised that I spend money on cds only, and that's quite a lot of money.
I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Made plans to watch The Ugly Truth with Ahmandah See & SHER-min, but Court also invited me over to her place. Now I think I just wanna chill at home, rest my heavy heart & head. Watch GG, maybe a random movie online, read good quotes (i love reading good quotes online!), get a tumblr to put up those quotes. Mmm I think I'll do just that.
9:45 PM;
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The same old shit-ass cycle happened again. I don't know how, or why. And I don't know how or why I let it happen again. By now I'm not that sad though. I mean, I'm very sad, but now there's also frustration and anger. Funny how everytime I think things are very good, it comes plunging down. Urgh okay whatever, y'all don't even know I'm talking about. Unless you were involved in it too, which I highly doubt, or Mao. I'd like to think that this whole thing made me grow slightly older and wiser (hoho!), but dang I think it just makes me a sad person officially. Omg you have no idea how many songs I can suddenly totally relate to.
In other news, Mao and I have decided to go to cj together, where we'll form the I Hate Boys Club and ignore every single boy in cj. It's hard, but Mao's had me convinced that boys truly are disgusting creatures. (Refer to my post from sometime in july/august)
Also, Enemy got the Beatles remastered boxset! Exciting stuff I tell you! Together with A Fine Frenzy, 500 Days of Summer & Zee Avi, WOWZA. I have awesome happy new music (:
In other news, Mao and I have decided to go to cj together, where we'll form the I Hate Boys Club and ignore every single boy in cj. It's hard, but Mao's had me convinced that boys truly are disgusting creatures. (Refer to my post from sometime in july/august)
Also, Enemy got the Beatles remastered boxset! Exciting stuff I tell you! Together with A Fine Frenzy, 500 Days of Summer & Zee Avi, WOWZA. I have awesome happy new music (:
10:24 PM;